slowly, slowly

why do i immediately forget everything that's important.
my fatal flaw.
the conversation too deep for me, yet somehow exactly what i asked for.

spirituality to guide the ones that need it. and the ones that don't.
to understand the world. to love the casualty that's become our country.
to feel alive. to be seen. to be enough.

& i guess that's where god comes in. to carry the things too heavy for us to lift.
to make sense of that which contains no logic.
and for us
to be a vessel for the life he created.

and so i can question and i can read and i can listen and i can live
and i can know my god and he can know me.
and i don't have to find perfection and i don't have to fit a mold.
i can feel his love and sense its power.
and for the life of me, i can spread that power around.
until the world can breathe again, without the holes in its heart and in its lungs.
because my god isn't the bandaid,
he's the medicine. he's the brand new heart. the brand new lung. he is the healing.
from the inside out.

and i am right where he wants me
until i'm not

so, can we see the beauty?