for the ones who fell in love at the wrong time

so if you see me in a field of dandelions
just know i'm wishin' on
every
single
one
that you'd be mine.

it's been days since you wrote me.
i don't mind, i lie to myself. you're busy. you're sick. you've got responsibilities. you're tired.
i'll be okay.

'love is your safety' you told me once. & so i'm safe in your love even when i don't feel it like heat on my skin, burning deep into my side.

so maybe we can try again someday, you tell me now, brushing the hair out of my eyes. i wish you wouldn't do that. i wish you'd leave them. leave them like a veil draped safely between us. so that you can't see me the way you always have. the way no one else does. i can't hide from you if i tried. so leave them. just leave them! i shout inside my head. but instead your fingers linger, brushing my jawline. so out loud i say yeah, maybe. and i bow my head and i try to smile. it doesn't fool you. it can't. but you walk away anyhow. you walk away from me. you just walk away. & this ubiquitous love consumes me.

but guess what. i'm stronger than i thought. because
every morning
(so far)
i'm alive