this love
ageless this love
though it hurts
thought it hurts right now
i am trapped, but how in the world do i "un-trap."
i spend [too much] time reading old messages, old journal entries. innocent words i wrote when i was just getting started. when i didn't know anything. when i knew everything. when the whole world was in front of me. when love was a brand new sensation. one i "only knew from old movies." when i "didn't know i could feel this way." feeling so much it hurt, it scared me. because my heart was beating outside of my chest. wide open for the world to do as it may please.
teenagers get a bad wrap when it comes to love. they're accused of lying, exaggerating, of "not knowing what they're talking about." i'll never squash the teenaged heart again. because, while exaggerative maybe, how else are they supposed to feel? how, when this sensation is completely new, never before felt. how would YOU feel? so adults become cynical - challenge the young sensation. dismiss it as hormones. maybe because they're scared. maybe because they had it once, and lost it. couldn't hang on. maybe because it's been since they were 17 that they too felt vulnerable. maybe because they've been hurt. too many times to count. because they're grown now. wise. "wise." wise enough to say no to love. to turn their backs on the raw-ness of it. to keep their hearts locked away, safe and cold.
i don't know why i write so much about young love. granted, i'm one of those "adults" now. ew, i can never think of myself as an adult.
but it's true. i've become cold, scared. and so all i have to relate is my 17-year-old heart. that's all i can contribute. so i spend time back there. instead of being here. learning about my 24-year-old heart. learning what went wrong, when it got spooked. dusting it off and putting it back on the shelf. to be read by the world. to be tattered and worn and.
loved.
though it hurts
thought it hurts right now
i am trapped, but how in the world do i "un-trap."
i spend [too much] time reading old messages, old journal entries. innocent words i wrote when i was just getting started. when i didn't know anything. when i knew everything. when the whole world was in front of me. when love was a brand new sensation. one i "only knew from old movies." when i "didn't know i could feel this way." feeling so much it hurt, it scared me. because my heart was beating outside of my chest. wide open for the world to do as it may please.
teenagers get a bad wrap when it comes to love. they're accused of lying, exaggerating, of "not knowing what they're talking about." i'll never squash the teenaged heart again. because, while exaggerative maybe, how else are they supposed to feel? how, when this sensation is completely new, never before felt. how would YOU feel? so adults become cynical - challenge the young sensation. dismiss it as hormones. maybe because they're scared. maybe because they had it once, and lost it. couldn't hang on. maybe because it's been since they were 17 that they too felt vulnerable. maybe because they've been hurt. too many times to count. because they're grown now. wise. "wise." wise enough to say no to love. to turn their backs on the raw-ness of it. to keep their hearts locked away, safe and cold.
i don't know why i write so much about young love. granted, i'm one of those "adults" now. ew, i can never think of myself as an adult.
but it's true. i've become cold, scared. and so all i have to relate is my 17-year-old heart. that's all i can contribute. so i spend time back there. instead of being here. learning about my 24-year-old heart. learning what went wrong, when it got spooked. dusting it off and putting it back on the shelf. to be read by the world. to be tattered and worn and.
loved.
Comments
Post a Comment