tired eyes

if i knew it was really goodbye forever i would have held you a little tighter

a little longer

i would have kissed you harder.

if i knew i would never see you again i would have said thank you

for seeing me

for showing me what it is to be honored

to be received

to be a woman

for letting me explore

for loving that.

if i knew

i would have looked you in the eyes

as you said goodbye

i would have lingered on your gaze

on your tongue

i would have told you to enjoy each moment with all that you have 

(you already do).

if i knew it was the end

i would have told you how much i admire your presence

your spirit

the way you speak to people

the way you love your life

and your craft.

i would have told you that.

at the very least i would have said

i am so glad i met you too.

instead, i just said ciao 

ciao forever then.

dime, 

is this really goodbye?